London can be a lonely place, or so people say.
In the first instance, I think the tube-old traditions stump all of us – whether you’re the life and soul of the party or the person hiding out in the kitchen. We’re conditioned to walk on the left, avoid eye contact and ignore everyone else at all costs. Despite arm pits, limbs and Stanley cups regularly being shoved into your face during rush hour, a simple “hello” would be a monstrous overly-familiar step too far.
Generally, I think London is whatever you say it is and whatever you make of it. It’s an extension of your personality. If you are outgoing, extroverted and love meeting new people, London is likely to be vibrant and exciting for you – as someone who’s not afraid to jump into the deep end or make the first move. If you err on the side of social caution or are more reserved in trying new things, London can be intimidating and challenging when trying to find your tribe. However, there are plenty of ways to find connection and it’s possible to take baby steps to gain confidence as you find your feet.
One thing I’ve always tried to remember when trying something new – whether that’s a class, attending a networking event or posting in a social group – is that essentially everyone around you wishes you well. Many people will admire you for putting yourself out there – in person or digitally – and for being present. It takes guts. Being vulnerable enough to show up isn’t always easy, but the rewards can be great. You may find a new favourite hobby, meet your new best friend. At the very least, you’ll have fun stories to share at future dinner parties – or a lot to delve into in a future therapy session!
Here are 13 initial ideas to consider when looking to form community in London. More ideas to follow! What would you add or what else have you tried that’s worked for you?
- Join an online group or community
- Attend a networking event
- Join a run club
- Volunteer
- Get to know your neighbours
- Check out gigs
- Spend time with colleagues
- Get a PT or gym buddy
- Bumble BFF
- Take a class
- Get a housemate
- Take part in a book club
- Join a choir
Join an online group or community
One hugely beneficial thing for people who have moved to London is that others have moved before us. These people have taken giant leaps and lead initiatives that hugely help newcomers. One clear example is online groups. There are countless London-specific groups to foster community and new friendships – many of which have associated group chats, in person socials and opportunities for connection. Some lean into supporting people from particular countries or age ranges which may not resonate with you personally, but could be a sounding board for you finding similar groups more relevant to your needs.
Here are some groups I’ve found useful (or know have been useful for others!)
- London New Girl
- London Stayers
- The London Lonely Girls Club (over 98,000 members at the time of writing!)
- London Social Circle
- London 20s and 30s
- Kiwis in London
- Women’s Irish Network
- Irish Dolls in London
- Meet Up
- Gals Who (this group is for graduates – but there are other groups in the same family)
NB: A couple of these groups may have a membership fee and / or charge for in person events that include activities, food and drinks. If those types of groups aren’t for you, many of the suggestions are free.
Your London Sister 